vent blog

I've been in the studio since 9am trying to decide what to work on. Should I work on something I want to do or something that might sell? It's now 1pm and I'm still torn. I don't like having to spend time on this. I'd hoped that I would get enough business that i wouldn't have to worry about making art for money purposes only (I started a painting of John Lennon. I'm not a fan at all but Lennon usually sells). i've offered specials that doesn't actually make me money, but it's something coming in, but nobody's interested in artwork. i'm flustered, angry and depressed. i'm trying to make my dream a reality. i'm trying to make something of all the work and education I've put into my art my entire life, but it's become such a struggle that my family's suffering and my spirit is just plain fried. I don't want pity purchases, mind you. I want to expand my outlet beyond Facebook. But it takes money that I cannot make.